Angry Pie


The last two weeks have been insane. My parents are visiting this week (YAY) and for the first time are able to stay over at our house (yay). This means a LOT of cleaning that desperately needed to be done because hey, I’m in graduate school and hardly have to time to sleep much less clean. Since I would be in class for most of their visit, I also wanted all of my homework done before they got here. That meant that all throughout last week I was doing two weeks worth of homework in one. Also, I am in the process of grading 64 short answer exams. glorious. Then Saturday, after working six hours, the blessed event occurred, and I’m getting to spend almost an entire week with the parental units, whom I love hanging with (absolutely no sarcasm anywhere in this entire independent clause).

best. crust. ever.

best. crust. ever.

With all this going on and so much to get done before last Saturday, there was a lot of pent up frustration and stress. What better time to whip up some chocolate pie. This chocolate pie was the reason I learned how to separate eggs. This chocolate pie is the source of a lot of cursing, grief and intense taste bud pleasure. It is the perfect recipe for when you are really pissed off about something or at someone. Instead of misdirecting that anger at a living object, put it in the pie.


Warning: Making this pie is an intensive process involving a big mess and lots of care. Make sure you have plenty of time to make it the first time around as you are expected to crush Nilla Wafers, separate five eggs, whip a mean paste, constantly stir a mixture to a boil and then wait four hours before enjoying the pie of your labor. If crushing Nilla Wafers manually, be sure to always have control of the bowl and potato masher (my tool of choice) so as to not have Nilla Wafer crumbs flying all over the kitchen. I have yet to have this NOT happen while making this pie. When beating the egg yolks into the powdery, constarchy mixture don’t expect it to go well or be beautiful or really even a perfect paste, just do your best and move onto the next step. This beating eggs step is the worst one. Pull up a chair and sit down for the constant stirring part and be aware that the mixture starts to stiffen before boiling so you know it’s coming. Always eat this pie lathered up with whip cream or at least some crust. The chocolate part is too much to be taken alone and that’s with 2% milk, not whole milk.

I promise it is so worth the tears and the wait.

I promise it is so worth the tears and the wait.

Now that you’ve been warned, Classic Diner Chocolate Pie from Baked: New Frontiers in Baking

Ingredients for the Chocolate Cookie Crust (I use Nilla Wafers not chocolate wafers)

  • 30 chocolate wafer cookies (about 6 counces)
  • 1 Tblsp of sugar
  • 6 Tblsp unsalted butter, melted

Ingredients for the Chocolate Filling

  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 3 Tblsp chocolate malt Ovaltine (I use unsweetened dark cocoa powder for richer flavor)
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1/4 cup cornstarch
  • 5 large egg yolks
  • 2 cups whole milk (I use 2%)
  • 1/2 cup heavy cream
  • 5 ounces dark chocolate, coarsely chopped
  • 2 ounces milk chocolate, coarsely chopped
  • 2 tsp of whiskey (WOOHOO)
  • 1 tsp pure vanilla extract

Directions for the Crust

  1. In a food processor, grind the cookies to a very fine powder. You should have about 1 1/2 cups. Put the crumbs in a bowl and stir in the sugar.
  2. Pour the butter over the crumb mixture and mix until well combined. The mixture will feel wet. Turn the crumb mixture out into a 9-inch pie plate and press it into the bottom and up the sides. You can use the back of a large spoon to even out the crust.
  3. Freeze the crust while you make the filling.

Make the Chocolate Filling

  1. In a medium saucepan, whisk together the sugar, Ovaltine, salt, and cornstarch. Add the egg yolks and whisk until combined. The mixture will look like a thick paste. Slowly pour in the milk and cream, whisking constantly.
  2. Bring to a boil over medium heat, whisking constantly to prevent the mixture from burning on the bottom of the pan. Boil for 30 seconds, then remove from the heat.
  3. Add the chocolates, whiskey, and vanilla and whisk until combined. Continue to whisk for a few minutes to cool the mixture slightly. Let the mixture stand for 15 minutes at room temperature. A thin skin may form during this cooling period. Simply whisk the mixture again until the skin is gone. Pour the filling into the frozen pie shell.
  4. Refrigerate the pie for 4 hours before serving, topped with whipped cream, if desired.

2 Responses to “Angry Pie”

  1. 1 Stephanie Swanson

    That looks yummy! I need to take advantage of all these great recipes you post! But I must restrain myself when hubby is trying to lose weight. Have you ever tried putting your Nilla Wafers in a gallon size ziploc bag and then crushing them with a rolling pin? Less mess.

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